How To Get Your Sparkle Back (And Stop Living Life On Autopilot)

Have you ever felt like there was a stretch of life where you genuinely lost your sparkle? It’s sad to even think about, but sometimes it gets to the point where you barely recognise yourself in old photos. You look back at younger you, the one who was vibrant and full of life, and wonder how you got so far from her.

Life has a sneaky way of slowly grinding us down and dulling our spark. So today I want to talk about all the ways to actually combat that, how to feel like yourself again, and how to bring whimsy, novelty, and a real sense of aliveness back into your days.

I’ve got to be honest, throughout this past winter I haven’t felt fully like my energetic, sparkly self either. Being cooped up indoors, dealing with cold weather, the lack of sunshine, it all chips away at something quietly inside you. But summer is creeping in, my energy is returning, and it’s got me thinking deeply about what “sparkle” actually means and how we lose it in the first place.

What Even Is “Sparkle”?

Let’s start with a quick definition, because I’m not literally talking about glittering, although how lovely would that be. When I say sparkle, I mean aliveness. The energetic, vibrant, slightly glowing quality some people have where you can feel their presence the moment they walk into a room.

You’ve definitely met someone like this. She walks in and you instinctively think “she’s sparkling”. Her personality feels bright and light. Something about her just radiates. And on the flip side, sometimes you meet someone, and not to be harsh, but they look slightly dimmed, like the life has been quietly drained out of them.

Most of us have been in both states at different points. I’ve been there, multiple times.

Remember How Life Felt As A Kid?

The easiest way to grasp what sparkle is, is to think back to how life felt when you were small. Everything was a bit less serious. Stakes felt lower. Tiny things felt thrilling. Football practice was an event. Going to a friend’s house was an entire weekend’s worth of excitement. Every single day held genuine novelty.

You didn’t have existential dread yet. You just got creative with whatever was around. I used to mix together weeds, dirt, water, and random petals in a little plant pot outside, stir it with a stick, and call it “fairy soup”. Nobody told me that was useful or productive, and it didn’t have to be. It was just fun.

Then somewhere along the way, you grow up, and the pressure to be “realistic” starts pressing in. You’re told to stop being silly. Stop being childish. Stop being so dreamy and unrealistic. Whimsy starts feeling like something embarrassing rather than something beautiful. And that’s where so much of our sparkle gets quietly buried.

The good news? It’s not gone. It’s just under several layers of adult conditioning, waiting for you to dig it back out.

Three Big Reasons We Lose Our Sparkle

I think this whole concept comes down to three overarching reasons, and recognising them is the first step to undoing the damage.

One – We’re Rewarded For Productivity, Not Presence

From childhood onward, especially in school, we’re praised for productivity, not for being. Being a “good girl” growing up meant being responsible, getting good grades, being efficient, being disciplined. The more I achieved, the more I got praised, so I learned to chase achievement above almost everything else.

And then this carries straight into adulthood. Play becomes irresponsible. Rest becomes laziness. Even when I rest now, knowing fully that I need it, I’ve got this internal voice fighting me, insisting I should be doing something productive. I can’t just lie on the sofa, can I? Maybe I should at least scroll through emails or edit a video while I’m “wasting” time.

I grew up being a bit of a dreamer too. Highly imaginative, optimistic, slightly head-in-the-clouds. And it honestly feels like the world has spent decades trying to pound that out of me, telling me being imaginative is impractical, that softness is unhelpful, that creativity needs to translate into output, or it doesn’t count.

I’ve even felt this in regular jobs I’ve worked. When I was working a retail job years ago, everything was timed in this unrealistic way. I wanted to spend a little extra time tidying the shelves and making the section look beautiful, because it felt like a meaningful part of the job. But instead, what got prioritised was speed, output, restocking, doing more in less time. The care didn’t matter. Just the metrics.

Two – Chronic Stress Numbs Us

So many of us are walking around chronically stressed, and please don’t underestimate how much this dulls your sparkle. I genuinely am chronically stressed, and I’ve been actively working on undoing it for years.

The brutal truth is that society treats constant stress as the baseline. School, work, deadlines, traffic, group chats, notifications, news cycles, everything pushes us into a permanent low-grade state of overwhelm. And when your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, sparkle has nowhere to live.

Survival mode flattens you. It drains your energy, your motivation, your ambition, and your sense of curiosity. You end up feeling slightly dead inside, even when nothing is technically wrong. And that’s the saddest part: most of us don’t even realise we’re living like this, because everyone around us is doing it too.

Three – We Stopped Doing Things Just Because

As kids, we just did things for no reason. Drawing. Colouring in. Making little crafts. Stringing beads onto a thread. Building forts. Doing handprint turkeys for the school project. There was no end goal beyond enjoying the activity itself.

As adults, every single thing feels like it needs to be optimised, monetised, or justified. Because we have to survive, pay rent, make money, build a future. Everything gets quietly evaluated against the question of “is this useful?” And if it isn’t, it gets cut.

I genuinely feel this even within my own work. Making content used to feel pure and joyful, and now there’s this constant background pressure: is the hook good enough, is the title clickable enough, is this strategic enough, is this going to perform? It’s exhausting. Sometimes I just want to make the video I want to make, without thinking about retention rates or analytics, but the world quietly punishes that.

I also get told constantly that I look or seem younger than I actually am, and I genuinely think part of that is because I’ve stubbornly held on to whimsy, colour, fun, playfulness. And honestly, I don’t see that as a weakness, I see it as a quiet form of resistance.

How To Get Your Sparkle Back – Start With Novelty

Okay, now let’s talk about how to actually get your sparkle back. The first big lever is novelty. And this has been on my mind so much lately, because here’s the wild thing about novelty: it actually makes time feel slower, your life feel longer, and you feel younger.

Sounds dramatic, but it’s neuroscience. When every day is essentially the same, your brain stops recording it deeply, because there’s nothing new for it to log. That’s why a year goes by and you think “wait, where did that go?” Your brain didn’t have anything novel to anchor memories to, so the whole year became one undifferentiated blur.

This is also why your childhood probably feels like it lasted forever in your memory. Everything was new. Every experience was a first. Your brain was constantly logging novel inputs, which made time stretch out into something deep and rich. Even a single year as a kid feels enormous in retrospect.

The Years That Felt Long Were Full Of Firsts

I can absolutely feel this in my own adult life too. In the years where I had defining experiences, like the year I hit a major creative milestone or took my first big trip overseas, my brain has so many clear memories tied to that period. I can easily place specific moments in specific months because they were anchored to novelty.

But the stretches of life where I just did the same things day after day, with no real new experiences? Those months muddle together into a soft, unmemorable blur. And honestly, that’s a quiet form of life slipping past you without you really being there for it.

When your brain isn’t surprised, it’s on autopilot. And autopilot, in a sense, feels like numbness. It feels like nothing at all. So if you aren’t consciously bringing new experiences into your days, time will all melt into one long, forgettable Tuesday.

Novelty Doesn’t Have To Be Big

Let me actually define novelty properly here. Novelty just means new experiences, and it can be as small as you want it to be. Driving home a different way. Stopping at a coffee shop you’ve never tried. Cooking something you’ve never made. Trying a tea flavour you’ve never had. Watching a film genre you’d usually skip.

Tiny things, massive cumulative effect.

Quick journaling exercise: when was the last time you did something for the first time? If you can’t immediately come up with something, that’s your sign. Pick one new thing you’d like to try this week, and put it in the calendar.

And please hear me when I say this: getting your sparkle back doesn’t require you to quit your job, move abroad, or completely overhaul your life. It’s about interrupting the autopilot in small, accessible ways, without dismantling the routines you actually love.

How I Sneak Novelty Into My Routine

I personally adore my routines. I love my mornings, my yogurt bowls, my evening tea, all of it. But I introduce micro novelty everywhere I can, even in ways that seem laughably small.

I switch up the fruits on my yogurt bowl every week to match what’s in season. I rotate my teas constantly so I’m always trying new flavours. I try one new recipe a week, even if everything else stays familiar. None of it requires upheaval, but all of it gently keeps my brain awake and engaged.

Other tiny ideas for novelty: try a new recipe for dinner. Bake something you’ve never baked before (I made cupcakes properly for the first time recently, and getting the piping bag to actually work was a genuine learning curve). Call or text a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Read a book in a genre you’d never normally pick up. Take a walk in a different part of your town. Visit a nearby village or neighbourhood you’ve never been to.

Here’s a small one I love: take your daily walk at a different time of day. There’s a completely different morning crowd and evening crowd, and the energy shifts in lovely ways. Even something as small as that creates novelty.

Now Let’s Talk About Whimsy

Right alongside novelty is whimsy, which has become my favourite word over the last year. Whimsy, by the actual dictionary definition, is “playfully quaint or fanciful behaviour”. And honestly, what more could you want from your life than that?

Whimsy has historically been dismissed as childish or immature, but what it really is, is receptivity, playfulness, and a willingness to see the magic in everyday life. Which, in my opinion, is one of the most underrated qualities a person can have.

At its core, living whimsically is romanticising your life. Seeing the beauty and the magic in the mundane. Making your morning routine feel like a soft ritual instead of a slog. Choosing bedding you love so making your bed feels lovely. Doing your skincare with products that make you happy. Making breakfast in a way that feels like an act of care, rather than just refuelling.

It’s deliberately using a lens of love when you look at the world. Asking yourself “where can I find beauty in today?”, even on the average Tuesdays. Especially on the average Tuesdays.

Stop Being A Chronic Complainer

Whimsy also has a quiet enemy, and that enemy is complaining. I’ll be honest, I used to be a bit of a chronic complainer, and once I started paying attention to the power of my words and my internal narrative a few years ago, everything shifted.

If you catch yourself complaining a lot (about being tired, hungry, having to wait, the weather, the queue, the traffic), try this. Catch the complaint mid-thought and reach for a silver lining instead. “Yeah, this queue is long, but at least I’ve got a few minutes to call my mum.” Or “this is annoying, but I get to just stand here and exist for a moment.”

Try to find tiny ways to refuse to let the world drain your joy. Because compulsive complaining, over time, slowly turns you into someone who can’t quite enjoy anything anymore. And that’s a slightly miserable way to walk through life, both for you and for the people around you. That’s the hard truth, but it’s the truth.

Let Life Delight You On Purpose

The flip side of not complaining is actively letting yourself be delighted. Let small things genuinely move you. Beautiful flowers on your kitchen table. A surprisingly good coffee. A song that perfectly matches your mood. The first warm afternoon after a long winter.

Let all of it land. Don’t be too cool for it. I think we get so trained to be cynical and unimpressed that we miss the moments designed to delight us. We give so much energy to bad things and almost none to the good things. But honestly? Whimsy is choosing wonder over cynicism, again and again, every single day.

Tiny Ways To Bring Whimsy Into Your Day

Some of my favourite small whimsy ideas: add sprinkles to your morning coffee just because. Cut fruit into fun shapes with a cookie cutter. Wear something slightly “extra” for no reason at all. Talk to flowers. Talk to your dog like he’s a small human in a tiny suit. Buy yourself fresh flowers weekly (this one is my personal non-negotiable).

Rearrange your room to match a new season. Light a candle in the middle of the day for absolutely no reason. Make your tea like it’s a sacred ritual. Wear perfume even though nobody is going to smell it. Decorate your desk like you actually love being there.

None of this has to be expensive or elaborate. It just has to be intentional.

Why Cynicism Is The Real Sparkle-Drainer

Let me touch on cynicism for a moment, because I think a lot of people quietly drift into it without realising. Cynicism is, by definition, a deeply pessimistic worldview where you assume people are inherently selfish, dishonest, and self-interested. And while it pretends to be sophisticated or “realistic”, it’s actually a defence mechanism.

It’s protective. If you expect nothing good, you can’t be disappointed. If you’re already braced for the worst, the worst can’t shock you. So cynicism feels safe.

It also happens to be how a lot of adults bond. Standing in a queue together complaining about the slow cashier. Eye-rolling at strangers. Performing being unimpressed because being impressed makes you seem naive. There’s an entire culture right now built around “non-chalance”, where caring about things, getting excited about things, being moved by things, is treated as embarrassing.

But genuine sparkle requires vulnerability. It requires being willing to be moved. To be sentimental. To be delighted. To be excited. To be slightly “cringe”, in air quotes, because honestly that’s not even a real thing.

And honestly? I find it so much more admirable to be a slightly gushy, sentimental, easily-delighted person than to be someone who rejects everything and sees the world in shades of grey. People who are openly curious, playful, and whimsical are genuinely some of the most magnetic people on earth. That’s the kind of magnetic I want to be.

The Sparkle Playbook (Four Categories)

Okay, let me actually give you a structured little playbook to bring your sparkle back. I’ve broken it into four categories of practical things you can start doing today.

Category One – Change Your Sensory Input

Your five senses are the gateway to romanticising your world. So introduce new sensory experiences across all of them.

Taste: try a new food, drink, tea, or syrup. Bake something new. Try a new restaurant.

Hearing: hunt for new music, listen to a podcast you’ve never heard, discover a new artist.

Touch: lean into warm sensations. I’ve recently become obsessed with heating pads, lavender warmies, and long warm showers. They’re an instant nervous system reset.

Sight: surround yourself with things you love to look at. Fresh flowers. Beautiful art. Cute sticky notes around your space with little love letters to yourself. Visual delight is genuinely underrated.

Category Two – Invite Micro Novelty Into Your Life

Order something you’ve never tried at your favourite café. Try a new restaurant or coffee shop. Light a candle in the middle of the day just because. Try a workout you’ve never done before, like Pilates or barre, even just at home from a free YouTube video. Pick a new creator to follow for online workouts. Start learning a new language. Pick up a small new hobby just because.

Category Three – Play

Make a vision board just because it’s fun. Not because you have a specific goal, just because seeing beautiful images stirs something in you. Print out little pictures for your journal. Decorate your notebook with random stickers. Use coloured pens.

Dance in your room when nobody’s watching. Colour in a colouring book. Bake something messy and don’t worry about the kitchen looking like a tornado hit it. Embrace the mess. Clean it up after, no big deal.

Category Four – Slow Down On Purpose

This is the one most people skip. Find ways to quiet your brain without needing constant outside input. Eat a meal without scrolling on your phone. Walk without earphones in. Work out without a podcast playing. Just be with yourself, even for a few minutes a day.

Practise noticing five beautiful things around you at any given moment. It sounds tiny, but training your eye to find beauty completely changes the texture of your day.

I also love doing this when I’m driving familiar routes. Even on roads I’ve driven a hundred times, I deliberately look for things I’ve never noticed before. A shop sign I’d missed. A house with a beautiful front garden. A tree I’d never seen properly. There’s always something new if you actually look.

Make Time For Yourself (This One Is Non-Negotiable)

One more piece I really want to leave you with: make time for yourself. If you have hobbies you love, please make space for them. If there’s something you used to adore doing and somehow haven’t done in months, please find time for it this week.

As cliché as it sounds, when we don’t make time for ourselves, we genuinely just drift through life on autopilot, day after day, never quite reconnecting with who we are underneath all the responsibilities. Self-care isn’t optional fluff. It’s how you actually stay in contact with your own sparkle.

And alongside that, please take care of yourself physically too. Movement. Nourishing food. Sleep. None of this requires perfection, but it does require attention to areas you’ve maybe been quietly neglecting.

…You Don’t Need A Perfect Life To Sparkle

I want to be very clear: getting your sparkle back doesn’t mean having a perfect life, the perfect partner, the perfect career, or the perfect routine. It’s actually the opposite. It’s about being responsive to beauty wherever you are, right now, in this exact season of your life.

Stop waiting for the trip, the milestone, the relationship, the new house, before you let yourself feel alive. You can start sparkling on Tuesday afternoon in the middle of an ordinary week, with nothing dramatic happening, just by choosing to notice life again.

So please, pick one thing from today’s article. Just one. Try a new tea this week. Take a different route home. Buy yourself flowers. Cut your fruit into a heart shape. Light a candle at 2pm for no reason. Anything that reminds your nervous system that life is supposed to be enjoyed, not just endured.

Your sparkle was never gone. It was just under a few layers of adult conditioning, waiting patiently for you to come find her again. And I really, really think this is your moment to do that. Now go and be a little bit whimsical today, because honestly, the world genuinely needs more of it.